I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
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Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
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My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
please don't ironically join a cult
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