One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There r osticjed everywhere
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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