Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
