Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
