you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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