She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
