Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
