Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
