i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
