btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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