I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize