you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
