You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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