marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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