I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize