Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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