Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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