i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
