i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
