yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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