He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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