Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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