we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
