you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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