And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
