My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
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