Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I deserve this hangover.
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