fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
