Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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