She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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