Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
