So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
