dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think my vagina is haunted
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
