how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
