my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
