physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
