he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
