fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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