well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
