I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She's the barista slut.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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