hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
