hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
accomplished twins. life is a go
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
