I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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