sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize