I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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