No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You made out with two different species that night
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
