At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
