okay pat passed out under dana's car
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
