So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?