you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.