Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling

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(914): so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling http://tfl.nu/v4vu

Replies (38) Good night (4651) Bad night (823)
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(214): View more from Texas

does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??

(817): View more from Texas

dude, everything can mix, this is college.

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(214): does wine, beer, and vodka mix well?? (817): dude, everything can mix, this is college. http://tfl.nu/mqi0

Replies (24) Good night (6126) Bad night (718)
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(416): View more from Ontario

I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.

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(416): I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover. http://tfl.nu/3ouv

Replies (10) Good night (916) Bad night (3926)
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(805): View more from California

We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.

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(805): We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened. http://tfl.nu/qapw

Replies (20) Good night (9355) Bad night (739)
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(208): View more from Idaho

She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.

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(208): She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again. http://tfl.nu/3vjv

Replies (15) Good night (1027) Bad night (5652)
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(415): View more from California

It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.

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(415): It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards. http://tfl.nu/fyj9

Replies (9) Good night (2066) Bad night (917)
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(209): View more from California

His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.

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(209): His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/z9b7

Replies (16) Good night (3347) Bad night (768)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.

(847): View more from Illinois

It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.

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(847): Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic. (847): It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word. http://tfl.nu/kmzp

Replies (10) Good night (2728) Bad night (819)
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(516): View more from New York

She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.

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(516): She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location. http://tfl.nu/ak9e

Replies (8) Good night (1247) Bad night (611)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.

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(864): Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you. http://tfl.nu/7af4

Replies (5) Good night (381) Bad night (963)
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(310): View more from California

I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.

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(310): I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl. http://tfl.nu/jncu

Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (363)
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(334): View more from Alabama

As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.

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(334): As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream. http://tfl.nu/b74h

Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (274)
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(314): View more from Missouri

You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.

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(314): You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick. http://tfl.nu/dywr

Replies (1) Good night (879) Bad night (264)
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(316): View more from Kansas

He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.

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(316): He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me. http://tfl.nu/8ei9

Replies (0) Good night (351) Bad night (251)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.

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(330): I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why. http://tfl.nu/4y6b

Replies (3) Good night (850) Bad night (197)

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