ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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