Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(818): View more from California

I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life http://tfl.nu/xzyw

Replies (40) Good night (5080) Bad night (681)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb. http://tfl.nu/9exx

Replies (215) Good night (1074) Bad night (3806)
Favorite
(859): View more from Kentucky

I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(859): I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out http://tfl.nu/qumr

Replies (16) Good night (4967) Bad night (1285)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house. http://tfl.nu/foqe

Replies (7) Good night (1318) Bad night (1616)
Favorite
(325): View more from Texas

Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(325): Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong??? http://tfl.nu/adeh

Replies (13) Good night (1154) Bad night (3406)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/9k0s

Replies (9) Good night (3809) Bad night (901)
Favorite
(870): View more from Arkansas

Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(870): Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good. http://tfl.nu/i8bn

Replies (3) Good night (2372) Bad night (669)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property. http://tfl.nu/21gv

Replies (3) Good night (1347) Bad night (610)
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF http://tfl.nu/rz1g

Replies (19) Good night (3948) Bad night (1573)
Favorite
(863): View more from Florida

And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(863): And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/3986

Replies (25) Good night (967) Bad night (3641)
Favorite
(785): View more from Kansas

Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(785): Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals. http://tfl.nu/wiw7

Replies (4) Good night (1126) Bad night (493)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night? http://tfl.nu/bhmq

Replies (4) Good night (446) Bad night (1149)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it. http://tfl.nu/4zf0

Replies (4) Good night (705) Bad night (437)
Favorite
(281): View more from Texas

Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(281): Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever. http://tfl.nu/g095

Replies (2) Good night (1472) Bad night (296)
Favorite
(320): View more from Minnesota

Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(320): Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over. http://tfl.nu/xbhh

Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (272)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: