Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?

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(713): Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing? http://tfl.nu/g5e5

Replies (1) Good night (1234) Bad night (673)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Yo dont text me then not text me

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(248): Yo dont text me then not text me http://tfl.nu/2apf

Replies (6) Good night (720) Bad night (1106)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.

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(403): she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that. http://tfl.nu/e222

Replies (11) Good night (2969) Bad night (781)
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(914): View more from New York

this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.

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(914): this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again. http://tfl.nu/zwji

Replies (5) Good night (2491) Bad night (739)
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(913): View more from Kansas

if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad

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(913): if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad http://tfl.nu/tveg

Replies (14) Good night (812) Bad night (2599)
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(765): View more from Indiana

It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.

(1-765): View more from Indiana

Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.

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(765): It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt. (1-765): Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead. http://tfl.nu/kzx4

Replies (50) Good night (2220) Bad night (1476)
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(281): View more from Texas

My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally

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(281): My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally http://tfl.nu/8k7h

Replies (30) Good night (961) Bad night (4290)
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(905): View more from Ontario

while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"

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(905): while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger" http://tfl.nu/ftph

Replies (20) Good night (4355) Bad night (1176)
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(303): View more from Colorado

hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!

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(303): hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you! http://tfl.nu/45j7

Replies (7) Good night (3624) Bad night (894)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.

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(608): She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend. http://tfl.nu/4mn4

Replies (2) Good night (2249) Bad night (704)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.

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(870): No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you. http://tfl.nu/b7m8

Replies (6) Good night (1870) Bad night (753)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?

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(603): She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep? http://tfl.nu/8ccn

Replies (11) Good night (1511) Bad night (741)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better

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(920): Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better http://tfl.nu/nui9

Replies (5) Good night (622) Bad night (1669)
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(716): View more from New York

I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...

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(716): I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life... http://tfl.nu/ae71

Replies (5) Good night (936) Bad night (1458)
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(757): View more from Virginia

It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage

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(757): It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage http://tfl.nu/6fy5

Replies (1) Good night (1408) Bad night (423)

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