sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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