You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
