so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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