drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
