Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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